The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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