i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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