I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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