My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
