Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
