Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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