God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
