Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
