my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
