this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
