Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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