You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
