i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
