i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
