what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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