U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You are the jesus of drinking
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
