His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
