I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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