ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
