i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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