fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
