I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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