yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize