Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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