i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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