I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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