Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
