wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
