I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
