I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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