people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
