Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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