I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
