Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
