singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
