You're my little dorito
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
