you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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