Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
