Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
