Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
my poor anus
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
