you would pick up someone in the library
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
