Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
