I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
