erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
