Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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