Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize