wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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