Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
