Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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