Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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