Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
