1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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