I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
