i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
