Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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