You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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