she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
