I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
