Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
