i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Randomize
