Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
