I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
