11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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