I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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