nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
