Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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