i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
