why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
