this beer tastes like vomit already
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
