is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
