Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
