lets start a swedish sibling band together
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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