): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
do nipples grow back?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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