I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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