I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
