it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
