She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
