at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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