Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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