My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
This is the high leading the old right now
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
