i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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